Category Archives: bill daley

>LMAO: Obama "calling" for reform in Illinois

>While Barack Obama showed not on scintilla of interest in reforming the thoroughly corrupt political machine that produced him, he is not under some pressure to poop, or get off the reform pot. National and Illinois-based media has been wondering out loud why the self described agent of change is not pushing to pass the reform package on languishing in the Illinois Senate — Obama’s form venue. The question is particular pesky since the state senate is headed by Emil Jones, Obama’s fellow African American, close friend and political godfather.

Well I am happy to report the under pressure from the media, Obama has taken action. Well … at least the appearance of action. He said he would “call” Jones to encourage him to pass the reform legislation.

I can hear that call now.

Obama: Hello, Godfather.

Jones: Hello boy. (<– African-Americans can use that word about each other.)

Obama: Godfather, I have been getting a lot of flack about never doing anything about reforming Illinois.

Jones: I’ve been reading that. They just don’t know that Illinois ain’t ready for reform.

Obama: I know, but its getting me some bad press … and you know how I hate bad press.

Jones: Of course, son. You’re not used to it like the rest of us. Just water off the ducks back.

Obama: Well … today I told the press I would call you to ask you to pass the reform legislation.

Jones: Smart move, boy.

Obama: Thank you, sir.

Jones: I’ll be sure to tell the press about your call, and how strongly you pressured me to pass the legislation. I can say I am reconsidering my position. Oh! Better yet. I’ll say I will work to pass it because you are such a persuasive guy.

Obama: Really? You’ll really pass it?

Jones: No! Of course not. You crazy? But I can say I will — at least until after the election. I control enough votes to make sure it never passes. I’ll come in favor of the bill, but make sure it gets locked up in committee anyway. You know how we do these things.

Obama: That’s really great. I knew I could count on you.

Jones: No problem. After all we got to get you elected. The Chicago machine never controlled the White House before. And of course, you need to be President to get rid of that U.S. Attorney Fitzgerald. Maybe you can appoint Mayor Daley’s brother as the new one.

Obama: Sure.

Jones: And brother Bill Daley to the Cabinet if he decides not to be governor.

Obama: Sure.

Jones: Personally, I would not mind being ambassador to Jamaica … or Aruba … or Puerto Rico. Obama: Puerto Rico is part of the United States.

Jones. Oh! Well you decide. I just want a nice tropical island.

Obama: Sure. And thanks for the help with the reform thing. People in other parts of the country seem to take that stuff pretty seriously.

Jones: Sure, son. Any time. And don’t forget … that tropical island.

Obama; You got it. Bye Godfather.

Jones: Bye boy.

Advertisements