Category Archives: global warming

TIDBIT: Gore gets frozen out?

Is there a correlation, or is it just a coincidence? As the prolonged cold across America reaches record lows in one place after another, I seem to notice a reduction in media interviews with Al Gore, the Pied Piper of global warming.

>OBSERVATION: Global warming cooling off??

>Amid all the election news coverage and the unending sagas of political scandals, there has been an unreported story. Seems like the theory of man-made, carbon-caused global warming has been put on the terminally ill list. That’s right. Even as activists and politicians posing as scientists (did the name Al Gore come to mind?) are continuing their increasingly incredible scare tactics, it appears Mother Nature is not being very cooperative. Global thermometers have not risen since 1998. In fact, they have taken a dive in recent years. The earth seems to be cooling down. All over the world cold records are being broken.

Ignoring fact and science, global warming has continued to be a politically popular issue with know-it-all environmentalists and pandering politicians. But now with the worldwide economies cooling down, there is some rethinking goinh on about the climate issue. Most of the nations suffering from the pandemic recession are suddenly of the opinion that reducing man-made carbon emissions will exacerbate the economic crisis. Soooo … for the world leaders, money is now the number one green issue.

The problem is that the scary theories of contemporary scientists sound really well-informed and well-grounded – that is, until they go flatter than the pre-Eratosthenes earth.**

The developing nations, especially China, want the developed nations to fork over hundreds of billions of dollars annually to underwrite their carbon cutting programs. Fat chance of that happening. The industrial nations are back to burning coal and investing in traditional power generation.

To justify all this change of heart, there is now a growing chorus of scientists warning of global cooling – a mini ice age. The are getting the politicians ears these days. We had a similar cooling earth panic in the 1970s. This means that I already have lived through one mini-ice age, global warming and maybe soon another mini ice age. And you wonder why I am cynical when the Chicken Little’s in white lab coats start publishing papers promoting their pet apocalyptic prophesies.

What can you do as an individual to address climate change? Buy a parka.

** I thought you might be wondering. Eratosthenes was a Greek mathematician who proved that the earth was round a couple hundred years before the birth of Christ. For the next two millennia – give or take a couple hundred years — this fact was kept secret from the peasants of Europe by a powerful cabal of politicians, scientists and church leaders. Sound familiar?

>OBSERVATION: Finally an issue worthy of getting behind

>When you mix voodoo science with political correctness, you get some really funny stuff. Well … it would be really funny if it did not cost us taxpayer so much money to underwrite the foolishness. I often refer to the extreme environmentalists as being a bit … you know … anal. Little did I know how apt a description that might be.

Case in point.

Seems like our bureaucrats over at the Environmental Protection Agency are prepared to protect us from yet another imagined assault on our air quality. They are attempting to declare the farting of farm animals to be air pollution. (<– If you want to read that again to see if it said what you think it said, be my guest).

To control the problem, they propose that farmers pay a fee for each cow, for example. (There is always money behind these crazy ideas, isn’t there?) The average dairy farmer could get hit with a $30,000 to $40,000 annual cost – which you would pay as an increase to the price of milk and cheese.

Can you believe that our bureaucrats have actually devised a scheme to tax farts? Can a levee on poop be far behind (no pun intended)?

One wonders where this slippery slope will find its nadir. Sure … the government can impose a “passing gas tax” on farm animals, but what about pets and free-range animals. Will they be allowed to indiscriminately foul our air? Maybe a ten buck tax on every four-legged pet. Five bucks on parakeets if we can prove they fart. As far as free-range animals, I am not sure what can be done. They pay no taxes and have no owners to foot the bill for them. Planned extinction seems to be the only remedy. After all, if they can’t be taxed, what good are they?

Then there is the whole human issue. Because of certain legumes and the unique consumption of beer, man is among the more prodigious of the earth’s farters. I suppose we can’t make it outright illegal to fart, but maybe we can allow farting only in designated areas where the noxious expellant can be captured and properly disposed of. In other words, no farting out of doors or in the public commons.

If this seems a bit extreme, keep in mind that we currently do not allow people to go pooping anywhere they please like a bunch of Neanderthals. We have a designated area where “the noxious expellant can be captured and properly disposed of” — the euphamistically designated “bathroom.”

If you are a smoker/farter in this brave new world, I am not sure where you can go. Since farts are technically flammable, one should not fart in the presence of people with lighted matches anyway. I am sure the good people at the EPA will promulgate some regulations on that danger.

To pay for all this, we will need to have a head – or, better said — a butt tax on every person. Individual public farting could be addressed with civil citations like traffic tickets. Police would be equipped with sniffing machines to nab the sneaky silent farters.

Thinking of the laws that require dog owners to clean up after their pets, can the civic-minded folks take individual responsibility by inhaling their own farts? Hmmm. Bad idea. But … maybe some genius will come up with a personal collection devise – on the principle of the pet poop pick-up products.

There is always the opportunity to reduce the consumption of fart producing foods by aggressive taxation. This would put the price of pinto beans beyond Rusian caviar.

In all likelihood, some of our left-wing city councils will follow the tradition they established for cigarettes and atomic bombs by declaring their communities to be fart-free zones without the foggiest idea of how to implement such a restriction.

On the global level, we might see the creation of fart credits. Nations with high fart producing diets would have to purchase fart credits from starving nations. While this might be a hardship on the Hispanic world and parts of Asia – not to mention the American fast-food industry — it would help the undeveloped and under nourished nations of central Africa get more money for their leaders to embezzle.

This could be the next major scientific panic-the-public project – “global browning,” if you will.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I am sure resting easier knowing there are people in Washington protecting my a__ … uh … protecting me FROM my ass. And, I applaud these dedicated environmentalists who have made their personal contribution to finding a solution to the threat of anal asphyxiation by inserting their heads up theirs.

>REACT: Mother Nature has the chills

>Get out your long johns and earmuffs!! It appears that Mother Earth is come down with the chills. According to scientists, record cold is hitting all over the earth and that disappearing polar ice cap that was melting away is re-freezing at a record pace.

You may recall my recent blog item highlighting the work of David Deming, geophysicist, adjunct scholar with the National Center for Policy Analysis, and associate professor of Arts and Sciences at the University of Oklahoma, who said we should be worrying about global cooling as much as global warming. Now, the Al Gore “deniers,” who were given little credibility in the media, are streaming out of the laboratories and think tanks to give the hot house crowd a big “I told you so.”

We now have three groups of scientists. Those who reject the global warming panic based on scientific findings. Those who bought into it and are now very confused. And those who still cling to the theory – much like their ancient predecessors clung to the “flat earth” belief a thousand years after the Egyptians proved old terra firma was a ball, not a pancake.

I had previously predicted that, within twenty years, global warming would be placed on the junk heap of scientific silliness along with the “population explosion” and the eminent depletion of natural gas. However, I did not expect Mother Nature to give the other guys such a swift rebuke.

I have to admit, I am getting quite a kick out of watching the Gore-ites in the scientific community buzzing around like spooked bats in an effort to salvage their reputations. I am sure they will re-calculate their theories to accommodate the sudden shift in the climate, but rest assured, this is the beginning of the end of the global warming panic mongers.

They say we should not look at this year as relevant. It is only an anecdotal anomaly. That was not what they said about Katrina and every other anecdotal anomaly to which they pointed in their campaign to promote public panic – and to secure billions of dollars in grant money for their faux scientific projects.

Is that egg on Al Gore’s face? Nope! Its frozen custard. Well, the crusade did get him a Nobel Prize and an Oscar. We should keep in mind that the former award was NOT in one of the scientific categories, but was their left-wing political award, and the latter is almost always given for good fiction — and “An Inconvenient Truth” was no exception.

While it was not entirely scientific, I thought the AOL poll was interesting. According to the respondents, only about one-third of the public worries about global warming. Two-thirds responded “not at all” or “a little.” This reaffirms my belief that no matter how much you pile propaganda on the public, they have an innate common sense. My uneducated grandfather put it a bit less elegantly when he would say “I know bullshit when I see it.”

Well… time to throw more salt on my frozen sidewalk.

>OBSERVATION: Is the theory of global warming slipping away?

>It appears that the controversy over global warming is getting hotter than the earth.

Is it wishful thinking on my part or is the conventional mythology regarding the causes and results of any global warming starting to turn? In recent weeks, I seem to have heard a lot more from the other side – from the “deniers,” as the critics so arrogantly like to call them. Apparently, the certainty of Al Gore and the Nobel Prize industry is coming under challenge by a growing number of scientists, whose voices are beginning to penetrate the cone of silence imposed by the mostly liberal media on the critics of the hothouse theory.

Lincoln once said that “widely held beliefs, whether well or ill founded, have the impact of fact.” In a more famous quote, he also noted that you cannot “fool all the people all the time.” I think both apply to the debate surrounding global warming.

First there was the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) special featuring a bunch of leading scientists debunking the U.N. report that sent the international fire alarms off. The BBC special not only took to task the accuracy of the U.N. report, but impugned the integrity of the process and laid the blame at the foot of money and politics rather than science.

Gore’s problem with the British extends to the education community. In a previous item, I noted that schools in Great Britain have disallowed the showing of his Oscar winning docu-ganda, “An Inconvenient Truth,” because of all its inaccuracies and political propaganda.

John Stossel, ABC’s special reports guy did an American version of the rebuttal to Al Gore — suggesting that it is the former Vice President who finds truth to be an inconvenience. While the left has attacked Stossel, the have not effectively rebutted the content.

Now, I know you are saying, what about all those awards – an Oscar and a Nobel Prize, no less. Impressive as they are, they are not the judgments of science. (I know the Oscar is the product of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and SCIENCE, but remember this is the profession known for fiction, hype and Paris Hilton.) These are political awards that are handed out by liberals to liberals – and the most political recipients make political acceptance speeches.

If you do not think so, you have not seen “An Inconvenient Truth”, or are too blinded by philosophic prejudice to have noticed – it stinks. Without even considering the pseudo science, it is a sophomoric production. At times, it seems more of a shameless Al Gore public relations film than a documentary. (Oh! That is what it is … an Al Gore pr piece. And it plays well in liberal circles.) Remember, Hollywood also promoted the global warming panic with, “The Day After Tomorrow,” a god-awful movie, riddled with global warming paranoia, that shows New York freezing over between lunch and quitting time. People turn into human icicles within seconds of exposure to the cold air, but the hero walks from Pennsylvania to New York to save his son. Now come on, how stupid can this stuff get?

Recently, David Deming, whose scientific credentials (geophysicist, adjunct scholar with the National Center for Policy Analysis, and associate professor of Arts and Sciences at the University of Oklahoma) are as good as any (and a lot better than Al Gore’s), penned an article that raised the question of “global cooling.” You read it right. No typo. Global cooling!
Deming concedes earth may be experiencing some VERY MODEST global warming in the modern times. Nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly no threat to humanity. The mean temperature of earth has not increased in the past nine years. No increase in hurricane activity. In fact, he suggests we maybe on the edge of a cooling trend.

The author offers an impressive list of instances of record breaking cold snaps — snow in regions that never had snow before. Record breaking lows scattered throughout the world. While we are supposed to shudder in fear of the North Pole turning into a tropical paradise, Deming notes that the South Pole is getting colder. Good old mother earth might be getting a few hot flashes, but nothing to worry about.

So, why is there all this concern? International politics. A whole bunch of emerging and submerging nations want to gain some leverage by cooling down the high-powered U.S. and Chinese economies. The least productive countries want to go into a new business – selling us carbon credits they do not need (since much of their population lives in the gloriously green Stone Age). Rather than compete in the race called “progress,” they figure it is easier to simply trip the front runners.

A lot has to do with m-o-n-e-y. No surprise, eh? Major sectors of our society will gain major mullah from the fear mongering – everything from government grants to the providers of goods and services. Yeah, there is chunk of corporate America that stands to gain. Think of the lawyers passing rules and regulations as legislators and lobbyists, and seeing opportunity in new litigation.

Think power. The liberals see environmental fear as a wedge issue to maintain and gain power. They will save the cowering public from the mean old straw man they created — if given the power of public office. I once worked for a candidate. A voter said he was going to vote for my gal because she was a Catholic. She was not. But, the candidate did not correct the misconception and risk the vote. The Democrat strategy on global warning is ever worse, because they are not only not correcting any public misconceptions, they are among the folks spreading disinformation.

You may wonder, why has the American left embraced this issue if it is not good for our country – or the world? First, you have to keep in mind that a portion of the left is composed of visceral America haters. They are on the barricades at every opportunity to denounce their homeland. (And “yes’” there are those on the right who never see anything wrong with their America. A plague on both houses, as far as I am concerned.)

Others are monochromatic. They can only see green. Anything that appears to hint green, they are on board. Nice people, but color blind. Others are corpo-phobes. They miss no opportunity to attack the free market and the corporations that produce the enviable American standard of living. They are the central planners, and the history of doctrinal failure never dampens their enthusiasm for paternalistic government. Others see political, professional or personal advantage in the mythology. (Did I mention Al Gore?) Collectively, these folks seem to be the “some” that can be the fooled (or fooler) all the time.

The thing about science is that truth will be discovered eventually. We “all” will not be fooled all the time.

Here’s my bet. In twenty years, global warming will be a non-issue – and the polito-pseudoscience community will raise a new money and power grabbing panic issue. We will not perish from the face of the earth … and, in fact, we’ll hardly be inconvenienced by the ultimate truth. I am predicting that “global warming,’ will go by the way of the “population explosion,” the cataclysmic consequences of “nuclear bomb testing,” the depletion of all the earth’s natural gas, and the many other prognostications offered up by politico-pseudoscience community of their day.

Oh! Chuckle over this. The august scientific community of the late-1800s responded to motorized travel by warning that the human body could not sustain traveling at more than 45 mph. How about the theory that the moon is made of cheese. (Ooops! That was fairy tale. Sometimes hard to tell the difference.)

These are only the modern scientific faux pas. Let us not forget the “scientists” who proffered the once widely held belief that the earth was flat and was the center of the universe. (Personally, I like the Indian image of a halved earth resting on the backs of elephants. I ultimately rejected that theory, however, due to the absence of a place for the pachyderms to stand.) In the Middle Ages, pseudoscientific bullstuff was advanced by the all-powerful religious leaders. Today it is the politicians, but global warming is still more religion than science.

What all this means is …. relax, This latest doomsday scenario will evaporate like a dew drop on a hot day. To be that “good steward” and green as Kermit, we do not have to rerteat into the primeval forest. Let’s use our technology for to continue the kind of progress that has made us the most successful civilization in the history of the world.

Al Gore should keep in mind that that guy who carries the sign that the world will end tomorrow is going to have some explaining to do “the day after tomorrow.” That truth is neither convenient nor inconvenient. It just is.

>RECT: Gore gored by British school authorities

>In case you missed it, Al Gore’s sci fi movie, An Inconvenient Truth, has been banned from British schools as being political propaganda and fraught with errors. The English school authorities have ordered that any time the movie is used as an educational tool, will have to carry a disclaimer stating that it is basically bull shit. Oh! Well that is not the exact terminology used by the understated and overly polite Brits, but the thought is the same.

>OBSERVATION: Be a zealot for Halloween?

>As I look forward to the coming of Halloween, and selecting my hidden personality dress-up option, I suddenly realized that zealotry seems to be reflected through permanent fashion. I mean you can actually dress up for Halloween like some real people do every day.


Today’s left wing radicals are often seen wearing their best 1960s radical hippie attire. While once a modern subculture style, the Jesus look-alike hair styles and rumpled poverty-esque Raggedy Ann and Andy attire can now only be viewed as some sort of neolib costume. Less radical liberals have sustained the pre-WWII tweedy cum academic look of the early Communist sympathizers.

Then my mind drifted to more extreme examples of zeal-driven dress codes. Until recently, Catholic nuns and priests were going around in clothing designed during the Renaissance – the remnants (no pun intended) of which can still be seen among the more zealous religious orders. What did God have in mind to decide that devotion depended on the resistance of modern style from that point in time? Why the Renaissance?

Then I wondered. What did the God of the Amish liked so damn much about that late 1800s? And not only haute couture but every other modern development from the electric light to the automobile.

Of course, up popped the Muslims. Apparently Allah decided that the fashion of devotion stopped about the time of the Christ, in whom they do not even believe. Did you ever notice that a lot of the Middle East war photographs depict scenes that look like sets for a Cecil B. DeMille biblical movie? What is with these theological fashion time warps?

Then I realized that as a conservative, I have no symbolic attire – no historic look that instantly tells the world what I am. (Okay. Okay. I heard that. Neanderthal? Very funny, but not truly relevant.) I cannot think of any right wing sect that has maintained a fashion for more than a season as an expression of philosophy. There was a moment that the Gatsby look of the Roaring 20s might have had a chance, but no.

I am eternally appreciative that the 1970s were not the time of conservative zealotry. I shudder at the thought of being permanently attired in hip hugger bell-bottoms (Yeah, men had hip huggers, too.), Nehru jackets (which were a throwback themselves) and ruffled tuxedo shirts

Looking back was no help in selecting this year’s costume. In the past, I have been a pope, a rock singer, a Chinese emperor, Dracula (not my most creative year) and a bumble bee (that may have been). Some say that customs reveal a portion of the inner psyche. If that is true, I don’t even have a theory as to the meaning of the bumble bee.

Still undecided is this year’s costume. Hmmmm. I could go in drag, but then everyone would mistake me for Rudy Giuliani. I could dress up like a liberal. Now, that’s a scary idea. If I can come up with enough global warming one-liners, I could go as Al Gore. Like: “A newly discovered major cause of global warming is hot air emanating for Al Gore’s mouth.” Hey! Cut me some slack. This is still a developing thought.

Maybe I will just stay home, put on a grotesque mask and scare the crap out of little kids who come to my door. Teach them a valuable conservative lesson. There is no such thing as free candy.

>REACT: More environmental bees wax … royal bees wax.


A recent news item reported that the new wax figure of Prince Charles in Madam Tussauds’ London museum was developed in an environmental-friendly manner … green, as they say. This meant recycled wax from his old figure, new bees wax, workers laboring without power machinery. They rode bicycles to work, and worked only in natural daylight. A lot of symbolism … without much substance, I should add.

However, the item that caught my attention was the planting of three trees to compensate for the minimal carbon dioxide they did release into our communal atmosphere.

I recalled representing Motorola (my employer at the time) at an Arbor Day tree planting ceremony where Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, the First, officiated. He waxed on (no pun intended) about the contribution this humble tree (about 12 feet tall at the time) would make to our world’s environment. “Today,” he said, “we add one more tree to our world.”

Well, my mind drifted in wonderment to the question: From whence did this tree come? As surely as we were planting this future mighty Oak, it was brutally extracted from its former resting place. I failed to see the “addition,” the mayor so highly touted.

Since my early experience on that long-ago Arbor Day to the contemporary do-goodiness of Madam Tussauds’ wax artisans, innumerable trees have been ceremoniously planted to make their contribution to the atmosphere. In truth, not once was there a contribution, only a reallocation.

The only meaningful addition of trees to our world is the tree farming work of the lumber industry. Yikes!!! Think about that all you green genes. Driven by the profit motive of ruthless capitalism, more trees are being planted by industry than by all those green activists who so hate the loggers.

Just another little something to think about. You too, Al Gore.