Category Archives: guantanamo bay

REACT: Club Gitmo to close as part of Obama austerity policy

I see where President-elect Barack Obama promises to close one of the more fashionable Caribbean spas. I am speaking of Club Gitmo, the terrorist vacation facility on the tropical shores of Cuba’s Guantanamo Bay. Where these guests of the United States government will go next is yet unknown, but most likely they will be placed into the hands of some foreign government host – one more in keeping with the hospitality traditions of their homeland.

Like any luxury spa, Club Gitmo is a full service resort, featuring life-style counselors, recreational activities, room service, free medical coverage, gourmet meals (at least compared to what they received back home), religious services, and excellent security. Rooms (right) are designed in the minimalist style that is all the rage these days.

Some complained of the fraternity-like hazing practices, which even at the best campuses always seem to involve some level of nudity, and the more robust health club activities, such as water boarding and sleep(less) therapy. Still, these were pretty tame compared to similar places in other parts of the world.

I am sure once these mass murders are relocated to other facilities in their native lands, they will long for the days of leisure at Club Gitmo. The new accommodations are not likely to be as commodious, nor the service as polite.

It would be interesting to see how they are doing in a year or so, but as so often is the case, one loses contact with such old friends. In all probability, some will never be heard from again.

OBSERVATION: Protect the right to be tortured

I have been giving more thought to all this talk about torture. I don’t get it. I sort of see torture as something people engage in voluntarily. Maybe those who are tortured are masochists of a sort. They not only choose to be tortured, they have a lot of influence on the methods. You see, all torture is a matter of free choice.

Think about it. Some guy is told that if he does not answer a question correctly, he will have his testicles oiled, wired and braised like fresh water clams. Clearly, he has a choice. The fact that a number of people prefer the latter may not be comprehensible to those of us who have no desire be grilled — figuratively or literally. But everyone is different. Who am I to impose my values on someone else?

Some people are happy to tell you what they know – can’t wait to brag. Some respond to a simple “please,” or a more emphatic “pretty please.” Others might require a little arm twisting, as they say. But then, there are those who seem to want to explore their personal limits of fear and pain. Why should we deny them there right to do so? We are a free country, after all.

To look at it another way, it is like a quiz show. Remember “Truth or Consequences?” Same deal. If you didn’t tell the “truth,” you got the “consequences.” It was a really popular show.

Maybe if we televised torture, it wouldn’t seem so bad. The hooded hostage holders of al-Qaida televise all kinds of torture and even slitting the throats of infidels on camera — and that seems to be quite well received with their viewing audience.

I’m thinking we produce a contemporary version: “Truth or Consequences – The Reality Show.” Consistent with our current cultural values, violence and blood could be viewed alongside Saturday morning cartoons, but anything involving nudity would be restricted to late night programming.

Finally, the television would be an important source of education for the children by witnessing the use of such retro devices as the Iron Maiden and the Rack (both pictured on left) – not to mention the debilitating affect of hard rock music played at deafening levels over prolonged periods of time (another Iron Maiden, coincidentally).

Of course, sometimes those tortured die. Everything in life has its risk. If a blood-thirsty maniacal terrorist is determined to stay silent in the face of possible death, again it is his choice. Not much different than assisted suicide, I dare say. This would also be consistent with their cultural and religious suicidal tendencies – usually expressed in crowded places. They seem to get a real bang out of it.

Don’t think I am an unsympathetic person. I know what such decisions are like – and so do a lot of other people. One time a guy pointed a gun at me on a dark street in Washington, D.C. He said, “Give me your money or I’ll kill you.” He was kind enough to give me a choice. I could have said “no” and exposed myself to serious injury or death. I chose to eagerly offer him the contents of my wallet – and I threw in a diamond ring and wrist watch as an incentive not to shoot me anyway. Life certainly can be a matter of making the right choices.

It seems to me that the best example we can show those who would destroy our civilization is our ultimate respect for their right to choose. As a just and honorable society, we must always make sure they know exactly what the consequences are if they choose not to answer the questions correctly. It is also important that once they refuse the less painful option, we must apply the promised consequence with speed and certainty. Honesty is, as they say, the best policy.

I can only assume that the campaign against the option of torture is just the latest example of those control freak liberals wanting to deny people yet another freedom of choice.