Category Archives: maple syrup

>REACT: The battle of Brattleboro

>Kurt Daims, of Brattleboro, Vermont, is passing a petition to require his town’s selectboard to have George Bush and Dick Cheney indicted and arrested as war criminals should either of them ever set foot in Battleboro. (Do not be overly concerned, Vermont is the only state Bush has NEVER visited. Not likely he will find any reason in the future.)

Before we address the merits of the issue in more detail, it is first important to understand that Vermont is the closest we come to a national asylum. The folks there take such pride in be different that they almost qualify as an alien culture. I sometimes use the term “left-leaning loonies” in a figurative sense. In Vermont it has literal meaning. On the other hand, I love living in a country that people are free to be … ah … shall we say … peculiar?

Peculiar? Consider this. Vermont has the most active secessionist movement in America. As far as I can tell, the only thing preventing their departure from the Union is the rest of us being unwilling to pay foreign import fees for the maple syrup – their only discernible asset.

Granted, Vermont is a beautiful state, and well worth a visit – as long as you are not under some silly indictment for your political views and can put up with their favorite pastime – self congratulations. If you find a normal person from Vermont, chances are they are too new (less than three generations) to be fully indoctrinated or they only have a vacation home there.

The Vermont Attorney General said that Daims’ law would not be legal. Daims, a retired factory worker, disagrees. Rest assured that petty issues like legality is not likely to dissuade any of those hard line left-wing “green mountain” boys. Daims likens his petition to the Declaration of Independence, no less.

Occasionally, Vermont-itis flares up in other areas. I recall my once-hometown of Evanston, Illinois passing a resolution declaring the suburban community a “nuclear free zone.” Churches and a few residents even put up signs affirming their declaration. These are the kinds of things I refer to as “civic masturbation.” They have no discernible benefit other than making the person feel good at the time.

All this has resulted in me adding another listing to “Larry’s Laws of Life.” “Never move into a town that has a national or foreign policy.” They tend to be too busy doing the business of Congress or the United Nations to deliver basic services.

At the opening of this blog item, I promised to deal in with the merits of Daims’ petition drive. There are none.

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